The Invisible Web

Your Trip Into the Chapel Perilous

On egg Laying Rabbits (a fictional piece)…

Posted by invizweb on April 12, 2009

Damnit.  Why must I be condemned with the power to communicate with animals?  Other heroes can fly, run at sonic speeds, and mimmic animal pwoers.  All I can do is understand them.  Sigh.  Its been a crazy morning nonetheless.

I woke up this morning, alone in bed again (double sigh).   Why can I not have a warm body pressed to me when I awake?  I guess its good when you have a precocious daughter that has a knack for knocking a door down.

\”Mommy, mommy, come quick,\” Nami yelled.  \”The Easter Bunny is in the garden laying eggs.\”

OK.  That piqued my interests somewhat.  Thus I quickly got dressed and walked into the small garden of our apartment building.  Lo and behold there was a little brown furball  laying an actual egg in the garden.  Then I realized it had a flat tail.

\”Turn around,\” I proclaimed.  Thought so.  It was just a platypus that escaped from the Central Park Zoo, wearing cocktail waitress\’ bunny ears.  \”Why are you wearing those ridiculous ears?\”

The little platypus looked down trodden.

\”Good grief,\” I exclaimed. \”Did you not see a certain animated film that came out in the last few years?  You dressed as a bunny is as awkward as me teaching you to act like a tiger, or crane, or mantis, or Jackie Chan.  So why do you want to be a bunny today\”

And so it squeaked on for a few minutes.

\”What do you mean nobody likes a platypus?\”

The furball pointed its poisonous nail-thingy (spur) at me.

\”In the wild, you know, that spiny thing protects you from dingos and other predators that will try to tear your throat open.  Sure, you were born and raise din captivity but seriously now…\”

It was downcasted.

\”Listen.  Pregnancy is tough sometimes.  Why don\’t I call the Zoo, and they will pick you and your egg up?\”

You would think after that, my day would have less excitment.  But no, now a spiny anteater with bunny ears is in the garden.

\”OK, I said this to a platypus this morning, so i will give you the short version…\”

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