The Invisible Web

Your Trip Into the Chapel Perilous

I Web of Fools Gold Presents- Another JackOff Recapping…StrikeForce

Posted by invizweb on April 17, 2010

So here I am again, out of hiatus temporarily to doing another Round by Round of  a StrikeForce show.  I have been too serious with these so tonight’s RxR is brought to you by Fentiman’s Curiosity Cola in the sense that I am not doing a show without 1/2% of alcohol in my system.  I will return when the show starts after I finish off finding out which of the previous stories are Fact and which are Fiction.

 I hope this show outdoes 48 Hours Mysteries, which is what is usually on this timeslot.

Shinyeah Aokay?  Huh.  This show is already starting funny and I have 0 alcohol in me so far.  I wonder if Hunter S.  Thompson ever did an article on MMA.  If so was he for or against it?

Gus Johnson has returned.   Mauro now looks like Joey Styles with some bloat.

King Mo just said this is the last boos of the video game for him.  Will they show his intro?  What f’ing morons, they cut his intro in the middle.  I predict StrikeForce fucks up since it is somewhat apparent now that they will not let Mo Lawal make  astar of himself.

The commentators compared Gegard Mousasi to an assassin.  I don’t know if Gegard will take that as a compliment.   

King Mo Mohammed Lawal vs Gegard Mousasi (Light Heavyweight Championship)

No Headbutts?  BOOOOOO~!  They are doing simulations with a beta of the EA Sports MMA game.  I am somewhat stoked for this fight.  And now it begins.  And tonight’s Ring Annoucing will be done by the Time Lord known as the MASTER.

Round One:  There appears to be a vocal Armenian community in Nashville.  The KING MO chants are getting louder.  Larry Landless is the ref.    Mo wants to bang and he its an Overhand.  Mo goes for a Single but Mousasi punches.  MO gets the takedown and passes Guard but then Mousasi pulls him back in.  Mo throwing some and oasses Guard into Side again.  MOusasi tries those Up Kiicks but Mo passes and then stands.  Mo is mauling but not many Punches.  MO’s GnP pPunches outside Guard are coming through.  Crowd loves Mousasi.  Gegard Sprawls.  Gegard tries the Plum but does not get much.  Mo tries to get a breather from a Shoot Double but Geg gets up. 

 Round Two:  A tiring Mo gets another Double.  Mo got 37% of his strikes while Geg got 51%.  Geg’s Open Guard HammerFist, BackFist, Hook Flurry is rather effective.  As Mo stands back Geg tries to hit Up Kicks again.  I hate how they claim all Ground Graplling is Classic BJJ as I dunno if Geg has a BJJ background.  As they stand Geg gets some shots in and Mo shoots another Double.  Mo needs to refill his gas tank.  Geg’s striking strategy is reminiscent of Bas’ striking from the bottom.  Mo gets Geg down again and the Champ attempts an Armbar from the Guard.  After they stand, Geg gets his Back and sinks the Hooks in and hits some punches from behind.

Round Three:  Mo’s left eye is swelling and he is tired too.  Geg hit a jab.  Frank Juarez, commentator claims Holland made Muay Thai better.  Mo switches stance and starts Swinging while Geg starts covering up.  MO tries to stack Geg on the fence.  Mo backs up and triew to pass.  MO gets wirst control as Geg Turtles and he Hammers Geg.  Mousasi is using this round to rest and he should lsoe this Round 3 for not doing squat in his Open Guard. and on the GroundA rather slow round ends with the King backing out of the Open Guard.

Round 4:   MO connects with a Left Hook.  MO lands another Double.  Same position now as Mo is in the Open Guard while Geg is there not Shrimping and throwing listful UoKicks though one connects well. Geg looks like he was trying to pull Rubber Guard but fails.  KING-Mo chants start again.  I agree with Frank that Mo coulld win this one.  Geg tries a Euro Sprawl and counters with Punches but Mo gets the Single anyways.  Mo now in Side,  Mo kjneeing the Posterior of Geg.  He is not (Geg) on the ground.  Mo swelling udner the left eye again.  Are they repeating the commentating track?  So far I have the the fight 38-38 even.

Round 5:  Mousasi hit a clean jab to open.  Mo got a Running Double Leg.  Did Geg have a talk with Anderson Silva prior to this fight?  If no Champions engage then Anderson doesn’t look bad?  Geg throws an illegal UpKick and Larry moves them both back to their corners.  Geg gets the deduction and it looks like he may lose the belt.  (You cannot Kick a fighter who has two knees on the ground).  Geg’s Hammershots to a Leg Riding Mo hurt but not enough.  The Champ attempts a Kimura and Mo’s nose is now bleeding.  Mo attempts a Rear Waistlock when the Stand and Geg escapes.  Mo shoots and scores.  Mo exposed his neck while in Geg’s Guard and yet Geg does not try to finish.  MO in the last second wins another Shoot and Geg once again didn’t do jack.

I am now gonna go grab my Curiosity Cola.

Geg: 177/250 strikes solid vs Mo 92/238 strikes landed solid.

Winner:  King Mo Mohammed Lawal wins (49-45) against Gegard Mousasi and Becomes the new StrikeForce World Light Heavyweight Champion.  Thumbs in the Middle (leaning Down) 

Honky racists in the crowd boo him and he mocks them.

StrikeForce is attempting to turn the Shinya Aoki/Gilbert Melendez fight into a matter over nationalism.  I am going to turn the voume down.  And I am going to KFC to get a Double Down in the morning.

Shinya Aoki vs Gilbert Melendez (Lightweight Championship)

Round One:  Mario Yamazaki is ref…Mauro talks about BJ Penn hwo does not work for the comapny.  Bad promotional tactic.  Gilbert is good at striking, shooting, and submissions but um Aoki si just really good at Grappling but nothing else.  Melendez threw a pounch and Aoki tried to Butt Scoot and GBerto lets him stand.  Booing starts and the fight looks a bit like lastweek’s Anderson Silva match .  That is until Aoki fingers Aoki’s eye.  Yamzaki forces Berto to wipe his eye on h the ref’s elbow.  Aoki Pulls Guard and goes for tge Arnmbar.  Aoki backs out.  Aoki feighss a kick and T\El Nino punches him in the Lungs.  Berto shoots and Aoki attempts to Pull Guard but El Nino backs off.  Ooh, Berto hits effective strikes outside the Guard.  Aoki has to back off and stand.  Aoki caught a Jab and is bleeding from the nose.  Berto works the body and then hits the head.

Round Two:  Shin tried to shoot and Berto shifted levels and Jabbed him hard.  Shin tries Spider Guard but Berto HammerFists his Forearm.  Shin’s nose is bleeding.  Berto traps him in the corner but Aoki defends well.  Then he caomplains about the Single Collar Clinch.  Berto hits Aoki’s chest with solid punches.  Aoki shoots to pull Guard but Berto secures Ankle Control and pops up and Punches him in the nose.  Melendez blocks and shot but Berto is pulled into Guard.  There are some boos.  Cut away to a Jake Shields interview with Mauro.

Round Three:  I so far have it 20-16 for Gilbert Melendez.  Aoki tried to clinch but Berto escapes and Aoki pulls Open Guard and for some reason Melendez follows.  Aoki attempts to travel via Butt Scoots and Melendez pops him.  Aoki tries anohter Butt Scoot and Aoki goes down and Punches him again.  Aoki does another ButtScoot and Melendez goes with it.  Aoki goes for Rubber so Berto leans on him and drives him into the Cage.  Meledez now standing in Open Guard and delivering hard Right Punches.  Yamazaki stands them and now Melendez throws some solid Body Hooks.

Round Four:  Aoki keeps trying to move in in the first minute and gets Jabbed repeatedly.  Aoki Butt Scoots and Berto hits some Punches to the Head and Body.  Aoki is now bleeding from the Mouth also now.  Berto hits a Right Body Straight.  Melendez hits and shot and then a Knee to the Body.  Aoki shooting and missing.  Yamazaki makes another mistake when Aoki is hit with a solid Punch while Butt Scooting.  Aoki once again goes for the Guard and Melendez drills him again with Potatoes.

Round Five:  As Shin goes for a Shoot he claims Berto fingers him in the eyes which he did against JZ in DREAM.  Aoki attelpts to pull Rubber Guard and Melendez counters by driving forward sticking his head in the cage.  Melendez backs up and hits some solid shots.  Melendez hits a good Left Jab Right Straight combo.  Aoki Shoots, Pulls Guard, Gets the Double Underhook Control, and Berto back ups with punches.  In the lclosing secs, Berto gets  aKnockdown with an Uppercut and starts wailing on Aoki with GnP thats not clean but looks visually good.

Winner:  Gilbert Melendez (UD 50-45) wins Shinya Aoki (Thumbs in the Middle going up)

Highlights:  Jason Mayhem Miller vs Tim Stout

Bobby Lashley, Nick Diaz, Cunge Le, Herschel Walker, Bret Rodgers and Scott Smith are all in the house.  Mayhem looked like a future champ smashing Stout who was in the Turtle.

Dangerous Dan Henderson vs Jake Shields (World Middleweight Title)

I hope Dan justs wows out like he did against Bisping as I don’t think the show so far has attratced repeat viewers.  I enjoyed the Melendez fight but I don’t think non-hardcores were really captured in awe by the last two compleet televised matches.  Frank called Jake Boring so Shields told Mauro tell his “Color Commentating” buddy that he would lose (to Shields) in under a round. 

Round One:  Go for the FALCON PUNCH, Dan~!  Hendo has some back problems though.  Dan gets a flash knoockdown with a Right Punch and Shields attempts an Ankle Lock as he goes down.  Dan  escapes.  Right Body by Dan nearly swoon s Shields.  When Shields tried to Clinch, Hendo checks him and catches him with anoter Shot.  Hendo gets an Uppercut and gets another Knockdown.  Shields fears the God of the Fist now.  The two clinch laxedly and ref breaks them.  Oh, Landless is ref.  Jake Shield shoots gets the Single and takes Dan down but Hendo reveresed and got the Sprawl control and stands.  Jake clinches and tries to drive Dan into the cage but Dan revereses.

Round Two:   Henderson is in the Caveman Stance he used against Count Bisping.  Jake Runs the Pepe and gets the Single but Hendo nearly gets the Crucifix Position and nearly gets Jake Shield’s back.  Shields however counters passes Hendo’s Guard and and secures the Front Mount.  Hendo attempts to turn away but Shields pulls him back to Mt.  He should let him turn.  I hope he doesnt try to win by his pedestrian GnP.  Now Shields is hitting more passionately.  Hendo tries to cover Jake’s mouth when Shields attenpts to grind into him.  Shields tries to end with a Hammerfist GnPing but not this round. 

Round Three:  I have it 19-19 even so far.  Hendo seems a bit wobbly.  Dan counters a Shoot by rolling with him.  Shields shoots again and this time Dan pulls Guard.  Shields passes and gets a Broken Scarf Hold. into Knee on Belly  Stand them maybe?  Shields tries some Hammer Fists.  Jake attempts a Guilltine from Mount.  Ref rightfully tells Shields to keep working.  He atempts an Armbar in the last second but Dan escape.  29-28 for Jake so far.

Round Four:  Shields sShoots but Hendo scrambles escapes and Knees him.  Henderson gets some sort of Twister position but Shields counters with a Kensuke Sasaki Tornado Bomb.  Jake now has Side Control and transitions to Mt.  Shields attempts a Ude Gatame from Side but could not get it (twice).  Round ends with Shields in Mt not doing much.  Sensibly fans BOO.  They should also chant Shields IS BORING.  His new gimmick.  Rather his constant gimmick.

Round Five:  Shields gets a Takedown and the same.  And StrikeForce may have killed the CBS territory.  More BOOS.  Mauro admits that this is the Caesar Gracie promotion around 3 mins on the clock.   The audio went dead for a few seconds probably to stiffle a Shields is boring chant to end the match.

Winner:  48-45 for Jake Shields.

A mini riot ensues when Mayhem Miller teleported into the ring and Jake popped him.  They are lucky real Hooligans weren’t in Nashville and threw urine bottles into the ring after the Main Event.  CBS mentions that a local high schooler makes a Columbinesque threat…Virginia Tech, Columbine, and Oklahoma City Bombing were all in late April.   Shields

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